Just Saying ~ Real Life Can Be Better Than Fiction or Just As Good

Recently I read and did a review of "Up the Way," by Ben. I went along with the books scenario of rogue female corrections officers having sex with inmates, dealing drugs, and smuggling items in and out of the penitentiary. Sure it could happen I suppose, but on that level? I scoffed, but settled on the fact that it is fiction after all.

Fast forward to yesterday's Washington Post's Headline, "13 corrections officers indicted in Maryland, accused of aiding gang's drug scheme." Well how do you like them apples?

To summarize, 4 women corrections officers got pregnant by a leader of the Black Guerilla Family (BGF). Really, the "Black Guerilla Family"? Did they sit around and vote on the name? "I like "Pit Bulls Bite," no I like "Dangerous Dudes," no I think we should be called the "Black Guerilla Family," and everyone in the room high fives each other. It could happen, no really it could.

The article continued, that along with these 4 officers, 11 other officers "helped leaders of the Black Guerilla Family run their criminal enterprise in jail by smuggling cellphones, prescription pills and other contraband in their underwear, shoes and hair." The list of criminal activities go on and on.

So Ben it seems you either bared witness to actual events while you were "Up the Way," or you have a heck of an imagination. Either way, I see your book in a whole different light and it deserves a second read.

Just Saying.....

Dating In DC 101 ~ Love and Hip Hop Atlanta

Even though I usually talk about dating, relationships, and love I figured a commentary on "Love and Hip Hop Atlanta" kind of falls into those categories. Sort of.

Last season when VH1 aired Love and Hip Hop New York, I said enough, no more reality T.V. No more Atlanta Housewives, no Married to Medicine, and no Amish Mafia (yes I watched that for a brief moment). No more! And trust me I tried. I tuned in to Love and Hip Hop New York with slight reservations. I wasn't crazy about the previous season, but I thought I'd give it a try. Ten minutes in to the first episode of the second season it was a wrap. I couldn't take another minute, a minute of my life I could never get back.

Then came the teasers for the new season of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. I couldn't wait for it to air. I kept checking the schedule to be sure I didn't miss a minute, not a dag on second. The wait was finally over. I set the DVR, popped some popcorn, turned the ringer off my phone, fluffed my pillows and was transfixed on the T.V. I couldn't wait to see what Jocelyn, MiMi, and Stevie J had been up to. And let me tell you it did not disappoint, me anyway.

I've heard talk that this one episode was better than the whole season of Love and Hip Hop New York. I can't testify  to that because I could only stomach about ten minutes before I changed the station.

I won't go in to detail just in case you haven't caught this first episode, but let me say to you, you are in for a treat, or not. What I will say:

Jocelyn, do your thing girl. I'm not even mad at you. "Molly Maid," that was hilarious! And you were wearing that fur jacket with those hot pants.

MiMi, get your life. You're beautiful and seemingly intelligent, but to think you can monitor what a man is doing is impossible. If you are dealing with a cheater, when you are looking to the right, inevitably he is nuzzling up to someone on the left.  It's pass time for you to do you, and if not for yourself for your daughter who is learning what to expect from a relationship. Would you be happy if your daughter dated a man like Stevie J? Just asking. Nothing makes me sadder than a woman who stays in an abusive relationship and justifies it by saying, "That's my child's father." Ridiculous!

~And last but not least ~

Stevie J, keep doing whatever it is you do best, but wrap it up.

Smooches and Happy Dating!

Dating In DC 101 ~ What Makes A Successful Relationship?

Nothing is perfect, except maybe falling snow, the petals of a budding rose, a butterfly's wings, sorry I digress. Well no relationship is perfect either, but you can stack the odds in your favor by considering a few things:

~Chemistry~

When you meet someone who is attractive to you your brain releases "feel good" chemicals in your body. You know the feelings of anxiousness, butterflies in your stomach, and the endless smile you can't wipe off your face when you just think about that special someone. But be careful, as good as it feels in the moment it could be short lived so you have to dig deeper.

~Emotional Intimacy~

How you connect with a person on an emotional level is emotional intimacy. This has nothing to do with sex, but rather how you feel when you are around each other. Are you comfortable and happy? Are they understanding, kind, and considerate? Do you trust one another with your thoughts, dreams, fears, and desires?

~Compatibility~

Opposites might attract but don't necessarily make them good life time partners. Compatible means you are like minded. You don't have to like all of the same things, but you do need to be like minded in key areas of you lives like:

* Finances

* Friends

* Sense of Humor

* Basic Values, and

* Sex

~Communication~

Each partner brings a different set of communication tools into the relationship. Couples who know how to communicate their ideas, thoughts, and opinions increase their chances of having  a long and meaningful relationship. Successful couples have learned how to communicate with each other. They aren't demanding, lose their tempers, or resort to name calling and other verbally abusive language.

~Mental Intimacy~

This has everything to do with commitment. Commitment is when a couple makes a conscious decision and effort to work through their relationship problems regardless of the challenges they face as a couple.

The myth is that men are afraid of commitment. That is far from the truth, they are just afraid of committing to the wrong woman. Women should take a page from their book and not settle, and make sure that they commit to the right man.

Are you good relationship material?

Smooches and Happy Dating!

Dating In DC 101 ~ Craving a Sugar Daddy?

Not that kind of Sugar Daddy Silly

Need a little sugar in your life? Most women wouldn't admit to looking for a Sugar Daddy and that's okay. All things aren't for everybody. But if you are looking for someone who is sweet on you MadameNoire.com listed the following top cities to find your Sugar Daddy:

Number 3.  San Francisco

Number 2.  Scottsdale, AZ

Number 1.  HOTlanta

That's right Atlanta tops the nation for Sugar Land. It is reported that the ratio of adult men in a given location for Atlanta is 5.98 Sugar Daddies to every 1,000 men. Now that may not sound like great odds to you, but the odds are better than hitting the Powerball.

But why would a woman date a Sugar Daddy? Of course the obvious reason would be money, but it can go deeper than that.

Generally speaking:

• Sugar Daddies are more mature and will make his lady feel safe and secure.
• They will display a higher level of respect and the emphasis will be more on romancing her than just bedding her.
• Most are seeking long term relationships and have turned in their player cards for companionship.
• And most importantly he will enjoy spoiling and pampering his lady and will take every opportunity to make her feel like a princess.

I am certainly in no position to make judgement calls on what a person should or should not look for in their relationship, so if it works for him and works for her, I say it's a Win Win situation.

Smooches & Happy Dating!

Just Saying ~ Visiting North Carolina

I just got back from North Carolina a few days ago, and let me just say it is good to be home.

I went to Wilson, Benson, and Cary and found these cities to be warm and inviting.

~Wilson~ 

What a wonderful little city. It had a small town feel with everything seemingly in close proximity. I was told everything in Wilson is only five minutes away.

As I enter the city limits I make a mental note of things I see and things I don't see. I'm surprised to see a tattoo parlor. I laugh to myself. I see a church, a few businesses, and a Golden Coral. Did I miss the mall, the schools, or even the grocery store? Maybe so.

I think I passed the projects. A short row of what looked like one story apartment dwellings. You know, the way a cheap motel looks? But where are the people hanging out front? Being from D.C. when you hit the projects, you see more than bricks and mortar.

I turn right in to a sprawling housing development. The house are magnificent, southern style, the neighbors are far enough away that you have to phone them instead of speaking across the fence.

Ponds, pools, driveways, and landscaping show that these home owners are vested in their property and their community. And the prices of these magnificent homes , UNBELIEVABLE!

Demographics:  Population ~ 49,167     47% Black       46% White
I don't know where the blacks were when I was visiting, but I sure didn't see anywhere close to 47%. Counting me, I think I saw no more then 10, and I don't mean 10%.

~Benson~ 

Then I was off to Benson. Can you say rural? Cows, horses, sheep, and a general store. It is about 1.5 hours from Wilson and about 30 minutes from Raleigh. It did appear that they are building up the area. I think I saw a Walgreens under construction.

The houses are nice there as well, but not as fabulous as the houses in Wilson, but nice none-the-less. At night, there were no street lights, no sounds of traffic, and I wondered if someone was on the outside looking in.

I took a country morning stroll down a country lane to check out the surrounding houses, and came across a house selling for $215,000. It has a pool, 3 bedrooms, 2 car garage, pool house, bar-b-que pit, screened in deck, 2 full bathrooms, and 1/2 bath. The amenities are too many to mention.

Most of the houses I saw were, no money down and no closing costs. I wondered if they included bad credit, no credit, and bankruptcies.

What a wonderful little town.

Demographics:  Population ~ 3,374        34% Black        58% White
I think there were more cattle than people in the quaint little city.

~Cary~

I headed to Cary for a spa appointment at Massage Envy. It had the mall, Harris Teeters, Trader Joe's, but still had a country feel. Everyone was so nice, and I had the best massage that I've ever had. Ask for Keisha if you are ever in Cary and are in need of a great massage.

The homes, town homes, and apartments were perfectly landscaped and looked new. They had country clubs, walking and biking trails, and everyone was all smiles. I almost thought I was in Stepford.

The homes are a little more pricey than Wilson and Benson, but still a bargain compared to D.C. I could really see myself walking my dog Sebastian and shooting the breeze with my neighbors on the doggy trail.

The following morning I had breakfast on the campus of North Carolina State University. There too everything was clean and fresh and everyone was all smiles. They even had a farmers market on campus so I said to myself, they like to eat healthy too. An organic life style, I said to myself.

I sat down with the menu and everyone suggested I get the sampler: Pancakes, hash browns, toast, biscuits, eggs, sausage gravy, spiced apples, bacon, sausage, and ham. Yes all of that. When I asked about turkey or veggie sausage, they responded "Sweetie you must not be from around here."

Demographics:  Population ~ 139,633      73% White         8% Black

Out of all the cities Cary had the smallest Black population, but I saw more blacks there than the other two cities. 

On my way home I fantasized about having a life in North Carolina, sitting on my porch, walking on the trail, and having a stress free job to boot. Note to self: Find out when I am fully eligible for retirement.

Just Saying......