Chapter 5 ~ "The First Date" Part I
Dream or Nightmare?
The Nightmare Date:
- She won't stop talking about her Ex
- "It was just a complete mess. He cheated, he lied, he kicked my dog. I don't know how I survived the whole thing. And the snoring, it went on for hours. Oh, and one time when we went to the beach and he kicked sand..."
He's thinking, I wish she would go kick rocks. Or,
- "He was so good to me, unfortunately his job moved him to the Far East and you know long distance relationships are just so hard. I really miss him, we were very good friends. Most great relationships start as great friendships, I just miss him so much. And my parents just adored him. He and my father just bonded right away and my mother just couldn't get enough of his funny stories."
- Too Serious Too Soon
- "When I get married I'd like to have a spring wedding. What do you think? I want my bridesmaids to wear mint green. You know mint is in this season? Who would you have as your best man?"
Really, wedding talk on a first day. Who are you? DESPERATE!
- "Sorry I'm a little out of sorts, my NaNa died recently and I just haven't recovered. I was her little Princess. She spoiled me rotten 'cause I was her favorite. I remember one time she made us matching aprons and we baked cookies. Boy I miss my NaNa."
What? Your NaNa died about 10 years ago and yes it was sad and yes you do miss her; but jeez, what is he supposed to say while handing you a tissue while you're crying about your NaNa on your first date?
Either of these scenarios will have him yelling "CHECK" before the entrée arrives.
The Dream Date:
- She's Nice, Kind, and Considerate
- Drop a dollar in the homeless person's cup in front of the restaurant.
Dang it, he wasn't looking; now you have to give that loser another dollar on the way out.
- Make small talk with the elderly lady waiting to be seated.
You're thinking, if this old bitty doesn't get out of my way I'm just gonna push her to the floor.
- Be courteous to the staff of the establishments you visit.
"Hello, how are you?"
Who cares? Just bring me my appetizers PRONTO!
- Smile even if it hurts!
And boy does it hurt.
- She's Flexible and Easy Going
- "Sure I'd love to go horseback riding on the mall tonight.I know it's hot but we can pick up some waters to take with."
You know damn well you don't want to ride a smelly horse in the middle of a D.C. summer. Yuck!
- "I'm laid back and drama free. Nothing bothers me. It might be those yoga classes. I don't let anyone or anything mess with my Zen."
You say this as you yell across the restaurant, "Can I get another Gin and Tonic over here!"
Oopsy!
Next session we will discuss: Where to Go, Going With the Flow, Who Pays, The Prospect of a Second Date, and the infamous "I'll Call You."
Smooches and Happy Dating!
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